Archive for October, 2006
10/28/06
Friday, October 27th, 2006by melanie toledano
i am so scared of so many things….
I’m afraid i might fail again
with something that I’m really hoping for.
its been a while… and its f@#& s#^& !
sorry can’t help it!
they want this! they want that!
you are not this! you don’t have this!
tell me don’t i have the right to burst out
can’t you give a damn chance
just to prove myself
that i can do that
i can be like this
i can beat them
knock them down.
i am scared to discover
its been months now
this pain breaks my head
i want to go to doctor
to ask what’s goin
inside the shell of my head
but scared to discover
that i am dyin
that i have 10 years,
10 weeks, 10 days,
10 hours to go or
10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1…
dead!
paranoia it is!
but still i am….
afraid to die
being able to
enjoy life less
an email fro believers
Friday, October 27th, 2006"When you’re down to nothing, God is up to something."
She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating
room. She said: "How is my little boy ? Is he going to be
all right? When can I see him ?"
room. She said: "How is my little boy ? Is he going to be
all right? When can I see him ?"
The surgeon said, "I’m sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn’t
make it." Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer ? Doesn’t God
care any more ? Where were you, God, when my son needed you ?"
make it." Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer ? Doesn’t God
care any more ? Where were you, God, when my son needed you ?"
The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son ? One
of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he’s transported to the university."
Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to her son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. "Would you like a lock of his hair ?" the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy’s hair,
put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he’s transported to the university."
Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to her son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. "Would you like a lock of his hair ?" the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy’s hair,
put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
The mother said, "It was Jimmy’s idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, ‘Mom, I won’t be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of
someone else. Aways wanting to help others if he could."
someone else. Aways wanting to help others if he could."
Sally walked out of Children’s Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy’s belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter
the empty house. She carried Jimmy’s belongings, and the plastic bag with the
lock of his hair to her son’s room.
the empty house. She carried Jimmy’s belongings, and the plastic bag with the
lock of his hair to her son’s room.
She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep. It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:
"Dear Mom, I know you’re going to miss me; but don’t think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just ’cause I’m not around to say "I Love You". I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won’t be so lonely, that’s okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn’t like the same things us boys do. You’ll have
to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.
to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.
Don’t be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn’t look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom ? I got to sit on God’s knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That’s when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn’t allowed. Well, you know what Mom ? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him ‘Where was He when I needed him ?’ "God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children. Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I’ve written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn’t that cool ? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I’m sure the food will be great.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don’t hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I’m glad because I couldn’t stand that pain anymore and God couldn’t stand to see me hurt so much, either. That’s when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that ?
Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.
the World Trade Center
Tuesday, October 24th, 2006
the WTC before and after…..after watching the World Trade Center movie, i ve realized that no matter how you plan your life ahead you dont really have a grip of it. Its only Lord who holds our life… Like what happened that day in New YOrk, one sunny morning of Sep 11, 2001 who would have thought. i can still remember how i first react when i saw the news on tv. I really thought it was a movie!
well, take it from me, i had a plans for what should i do after the SC contract ends but due to circumstances and life blogging problems you have to make decisions that will change evrything… sometimes it will delay your plans or probably will take a 360degree change of plans.and like in the movie Click, there is no rewind you just have to play it on—> your LIFE.
last song syndrome
Tuesday, October 17th, 2006Araw-Gabi
‘Di biro ang sumulat ng awitin para sa ‘yo
Para aking isang sira-ulong hilo at lito
Sa akin pang minanang piyano tiklado’y pilit nilaro
Baka sakaling mayroong tonong bigla na lang uusbong
Tungkol sa ano mang kayang awitin para sa ‘yo
‘Di biro ang gawing sukat ang titik sa tono sampu man aking diks’yonaryo Para aking isang sira-ulong hilo at lito
Sa akin pang minanang piyano tiklado’y pilit nilaro
Baka sakaling mayroong tonong bigla na lang uusbong
Tungkol sa ano mang kayang awitin para sa ‘yo
Kung ang tugma’y ‘di wasto, basta’t isiping ‘di magbabago
Damdamin ko sa iyo
Araw-gabi nasa isip ka
Napapanaginip ka kahit sa’n man magpunta
Araw-gabi nalalasing sa tuwa kapag kapiling ka
Araw-gabi tayong dal’wa
Biruin mong nasabi ko ang nais kong ipahatid
Dapat mo nang mabatid laman nitong dibdib
Tila sampung daang awitin
Natapos kong likhain
Ito ang tunay na damdamin
Tanggapin at dinggin
Araw-gabi nasa isip ka
Napapanaginip ka kahit sa’n man magpunta
Araw-gabi nalalasing sa tuwa kapag kapiling ka
Araw-gabi tayong dal’wa
Araw-gabi…
Tayong dal’wa…
(Araw-gabi nasa isip ka
Napapanaginip ka)
Araw-gabi tayong dal’wa
(Araw-gabi nalalasing sa tuwa kapag kapiling ka
Araw-gabi, araw-gabi)
Araw-gabi, araw-gabi)
Araw-gabi nasa isip ka
Napapanaginip ka kahit sa’n man magpunta
Araw-gabi nalalasing sa tuwa kapag kapiling ka
Araw-gabi tayong dal’wa
Araw-gabi tayong dal’wa….
Napapanaginip ka kahit sa’n man magpunta
Araw-gabi nalalasing sa tuwa kapag kapiling ka
Araw-gabi tayong dal’wa
Araw-gabi tayong dal’wa….
Oohhhh…
mr. tuesday
Sunday, October 15th, 2006wala lang! i just feel sad because RJ was expelled from the PDA. i think its unfair coz he is such a good writer and a singer as well. pano na ang loveteam? =( because of that there will be no more reason to stay up late. Oh yeah si RJ and Yeng lang inaabangan namin sa bahay sa PDA. atleast nakabuti ang expulsion ni Rj. early to bed na kmi ng sis ko. probably i cant start (sa awa ng Dyos) my scrapbook 2. and probably can now read books.
yessss! pero sayang talaga…
whoaahh… apektado masyado!!!
wlang pakialamanan blog ko to eh!
yessss! pero sayang talaga…
whoaahh… apektado masyado!!!
wlang pakialamanan blog ko to eh!
stuck in my own world
Friday, October 13th, 2006minsan gusto ko lang tumahimik sa isang tabi.
just do my own things, ika nga!
at eto ang oras n un…
medyo matamlay ako sa dami ng iniisip. nagkakagulo n ang mga ofism8s ko kc lunch break na pero ako di ako maglalunch sa bahay na lang o kaya sa labas. tamad akong sumagot ng tanong o mag react. ayaw ko rin magsalita buti may text and blog kaya heto.
andami kong iniisip:
1) whats the future ahead of me (lalim di ba? pero seryoso yan!)
2) to go or not to go — gusto ko kcng pumunta at magpray sa st.clare kaya lang di ko maramdaman ang calling. pero gusto talaga ng isp at puso ko baka katawan ko lang ang ayaw.
3) ung no 1 and 2 ay related… da very reason i want to pray there is to pray for sumthing that im really hoping i can get… global community sa mga nakakaalam ng ibig sabihin nun (alam nila un!). i dont know if i will be really happy pag nakuha ko na un but one thing for sure the only constant in this world is change. and u have to change to grow and learn in life.
4) related pa rin sa no.1, i just turned down again (nagmamaganda n naman) a job offer sa lower court. i dont know if proabbly babalik ako sa court it would be SC p rin but hopefully not na in OCA. Been there na kc though i had a lot of good memries and luv ko ang FMD. try ko naman ang iba… how about OCJ or OJV? tapos may 2 jobs p na inaalok sa kin magpasa daw ako ng resume. Choices and decisions again! i hate this stuffs!
5) kakasweldo ko lang. but i have budgeted it ofkors already. para sa ipon, para kay mama, para sa badminton at para sa matipid na 15 days uli bago sumuweldo. this is the catch—> i want to buy a cake para sa bahay (para may makain syempre) ung bagong commercial ng red ribbon ung margelane b un? ewan ano bang flavor nun? basta alam ko sobrang tamis nya at di naman ganun kasarap. pero i want them (sa bahay) to taste it (kc natikman ko n un dito sa ofis. by the way nasa ofis nga ako… break po anoh?!) kc maski mahal at di ako satisfied sa taste nya. ewan ko gustong kumain ng cake kaya lang off budget sya. wala sya sa budget ko kaya nakakinis.
6) meron pa pala gusto ko uli kumain ng mcrice atsaka magcoffee sa starbucks or gloria jeans or halo halo sa razons (pasosyal anoh?!) pero minsan minsan lang un esp if im wid my FA- SC frens (kaya parang namimiss ko sila) kaso wala akong kasamang kumain and wala rin sa budget.
7) meron pa! alam nyo bang di ko pa nararating ang baguio! oo kawawa naman ako! may fren ako (from SC) punta daw kming baguio napareserve nya ung Staff haus. kaso wala akong pera at tym kainis!!!
wala lang… haay gusto ko talagang matupad ung no1 ko… kaya nga no.1 eh! un talaga un eh. un un eh! at bad trip kapos ang budget ko!!!
meron n pala ulit Takeshi’s Castle, i used to watched when iwas in gradeskul…
tapos malapit na ang tym uwian na!!!! malaksa daw ang ulan malamng di na ako pumuntang sty clare =<
just do my own things, ika nga!
at eto ang oras n un…
medyo matamlay ako sa dami ng iniisip. nagkakagulo n ang mga ofism8s ko kc lunch break na pero ako di ako maglalunch sa bahay na lang o kaya sa labas. tamad akong sumagot ng tanong o mag react. ayaw ko rin magsalita buti may text and blog kaya heto.
andami kong iniisip:
1) whats the future ahead of me (lalim di ba? pero seryoso yan!)
2) to go or not to go — gusto ko kcng pumunta at magpray sa st.clare kaya lang di ko maramdaman ang calling. pero gusto talaga ng isp at puso ko baka katawan ko lang ang ayaw.
3) ung no 1 and 2 ay related… da very reason i want to pray there is to pray for sumthing that im really hoping i can get… global community sa mga nakakaalam ng ibig sabihin nun (alam nila un!). i dont know if i will be really happy pag nakuha ko na un but one thing for sure the only constant in this world is change. and u have to change to grow and learn in life.
4) related pa rin sa no.1, i just turned down again (nagmamaganda n naman) a job offer sa lower court. i dont know if proabbly babalik ako sa court it would be SC p rin but hopefully not na in OCA. Been there na kc though i had a lot of good memries and luv ko ang FMD. try ko naman ang iba… how about OCJ or OJV? tapos may 2 jobs p na inaalok sa kin magpasa daw ako ng resume. Choices and decisions again! i hate this stuffs!
5) kakasweldo ko lang. but i have budgeted it ofkors already. para sa ipon, para kay mama, para sa badminton at para sa matipid na 15 days uli bago sumuweldo. this is the catch—> i want to buy a cake para sa bahay (para may makain syempre) ung bagong commercial ng red ribbon ung margelane b un? ewan ano bang flavor nun? basta alam ko sobrang tamis nya at di naman ganun kasarap. pero i want them (sa bahay) to taste it (kc natikman ko n un dito sa ofis. by the way nasa ofis nga ako… break po anoh?!) kc maski mahal at di ako satisfied sa taste nya. ewan ko gustong kumain ng cake kaya lang off budget sya. wala sya sa budget ko kaya nakakinis.
6) meron pa pala gusto ko uli kumain ng mcrice atsaka magcoffee sa starbucks or gloria jeans or halo halo sa razons (pasosyal anoh?!) pero minsan minsan lang un esp if im wid my FA- SC frens (kaya parang namimiss ko sila) kaso wala akong kasamang kumain and wala rin sa budget.
7) meron pa! alam nyo bang di ko pa nararating ang baguio! oo kawawa naman ako! may fren ako (from SC) punta daw kming baguio napareserve nya ung Staff haus. kaso wala akong pera at tym kainis!!!
wala lang… haay gusto ko talagang matupad ung no1 ko… kaya nga no.1 eh! un talaga un eh. un un eh! at bad trip kapos ang budget ko!!! meron n pala ulit Takeshi’s Castle, i used to watched when iwas in gradeskul…
tapos malapit na ang tym uwian na!!!! malaksa daw ang ulan malamng di na ako pumuntang sty clare =<
friday the 13… yesterday
Friday, October 13th, 2006yesterday was friday the 13.
sbi nila malas daw ang araw na ito. well for me medyo coz i remeber when i was in gradeschool— friday d 13 nun ng madulas ako sa pinto ng classroom namin. nung highschool friday d 13 din ng malaglag ako sa hagdan (WALANG BIRO!) nangyari sa akin un nung friday d 13. wen i was in college it was also friday d 13, when CHED announced that class is supended due to typhoon… eh haller ofkors late na namn ang announcement so nasa school n ako nun. Imagined pinauwi kami ng 11.30am coming from UE Caloocan eh taga Valenzuela lang naman ako. 5.30 pm n ako nakauwi. Because the PUJ i was riding was stranded sa may del monte, malabon. I can still remember i was wearing skirt then (un kc ang uniform namin) para lang makauwi i had to ride a six wheeler delivery truck along with all the stranded hopefuls na makauwi na! As in nakatayo ako dun sa truck! Ung truck na ginagamit para sa delivery ng beer at softdrinks (syempre ung walang lamang delivery), Ung open na wheeler. AT konti n lang aabutin n ng baha ung truck. Grabe ang baha nun sa tullahan. Ang hirap pa kc nakakapit k lng tapos open din ung floor ng truck eh pano kung malaglag ako eh pisa ako. Grabe!
thats why yesterday i wore RED to fight the bad luck. I mean wala namang mawawala.
para n ring gudlak… coz upto now (though ilang araw pa lang ang nakakalipas) im still waiting in vain (xcited and hopeful) for a call. Sino? Secret!
sbi nila malas daw ang araw na ito. well for me medyo coz i remeber when i was in gradeschool— friday d 13 nun ng madulas ako sa pinto ng classroom namin. nung highschool friday d 13 din ng malaglag ako sa hagdan (WALANG BIRO!) nangyari sa akin un nung friday d 13. wen i was in college it was also friday d 13, when CHED announced that class is supended due to typhoon… eh haller ofkors late na namn ang announcement so nasa school n ako nun. Imagined pinauwi kami ng 11.30am coming from UE Caloocan eh taga Valenzuela lang naman ako. 5.30 pm n ako nakauwi. Because the PUJ i was riding was stranded sa may del monte, malabon. I can still remember i was wearing skirt then (un kc ang uniform namin) para lang makauwi i had to ride a six wheeler delivery truck along with all the stranded hopefuls na makauwi na! As in nakatayo ako dun sa truck! Ung truck na ginagamit para sa delivery ng beer at softdrinks (syempre ung walang lamang delivery), Ung open na wheeler. AT konti n lang aabutin n ng baha ung truck. Grabe ang baha nun sa tullahan. Ang hirap pa kc nakakapit k lng tapos open din ung floor ng truck eh pano kung malaglag ako eh pisa ako. Grabe!
thats why yesterday i wore RED to fight the bad luck. I mean wala namang mawawala.
para n ring gudlak… coz upto now (though ilang araw pa lang ang nakakalipas) im still waiting in vain (xcited and hopeful) for a call. Sino? Secret!
http://krungettes.blog.friendster.com/2006/10/httpasiagroupsyahoocomgroupsc_fieldauditors/
Tuesday, October 10th, 2006http://asia.groups.yahoo.com/group/sc_fieldauditors
today is a day full of surprises!!! Oh Gosh!!! Natutuwa talaga ako! My heart is jumping with joy and i love the feeling… i hope you feel it too!
dats how i felt yesterday…
today is a day full of surprises!!! Oh Gosh!!! Natutuwa talaga ako! My heart is jumping with joy and i love the feeling… i hope you feel it too!
dats how i felt yesterday…
left out in imagination
Sunday, October 8th, 2006My Fairies World Poem
My fairies float on breezes warm,
in pastel shades they are adorned.
Ribbons, bows and castles too,
my fairies bring here just for you.
So come with me, and enter in
my fairy world - now let’s begin.
Tread gently on the fairies flowers,
spend time with them in leafy bowers.
Feel the touch as their gossamer wings
brush your hand, what joy this brings.
Catch hold, the trailing ribbons high,
may be, you too will fly.
See bubbles blown to catch the light,
don’t make a sound, less they take flight.
Enter then their castle home,
there’s blue and pink, where you may roam.
Drift with them among the spires.
In my fairyland, no one tires.
Watch them paint the butterflies,
but, careful do not blink your eyes.
Sometimes with butterflies they come
to earth, to see what must be done.
Landing in your fairy dell,
but that’s a secret, do not tell.
Only the elves, with whom they play
know they are there at the end of day.
They dance togetherin summer glades,
all this you can see as daylight fades.
You will know when they’ve been there,
pearls of dewdrops fill the air.
So welcome to my fairies world:
Let imagination be unfurled.
My fairies float on breezes warm,
in pastel shades they are adorned.
Ribbons, bows and castles too,
my fairies bring here just for you.
So come with me, and enter in
my fairy world - now let’s begin.
Tread gently on the fairies flowers,
spend time with them in leafy bowers.
Feel the touch as their gossamer wings
brush your hand, what joy this brings.
Catch hold, the trailing ribbons high,
may be, you too will fly.
See bubbles blown to catch the light,
don’t make a sound, less they take flight.
Enter then their castle home,
there’s blue and pink, where you may roam.
Drift with them among the spires.
In my fairyland, no one tires.
Watch them paint the butterflies,
but, careful do not blink your eyes.
Sometimes with butterflies they come
to earth, to see what must be done.
Landing in your fairy dell,
but that’s a secret, do not tell.
Only the elves, with whom they play
know they are there at the end of day.
They dance togetherin summer glades,
all this you can see as daylight fades.
You will know when they’ve been there,
pearls of dewdrops fill the air.
So welcome to my fairies world:
Let imagination be unfurled.
poem sent to me…
Friday, October 6th, 2006it takes strength to fit in.
It takes courage to stand out.It takes strength to feel a friend’s pain.
It takes courage to feel your own pain.It takes strength to hide your own pains.
It takes courage to show them.It takes strength to endure abuse.
It takes courage to stop it.It takes strength to stand alone.
It takes courage to lean on another.It takes strength to love.
It takes courage to be loved.It takes strength to survive.
It takes courage to live.
It takes courage to stand out.It takes strength to feel a friend’s pain.
It takes courage to feel your own pain.It takes strength to hide your own pains.
It takes courage to show them.It takes strength to endure abuse.
It takes courage to stop it.It takes strength to stand alone.
It takes courage to lean on another.It takes strength to love.
It takes courage to be loved.It takes strength to survive.
It takes courage to live.
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